“Bad to the bone”
been having panic attacks three nights in a row. Sort of shocked and scared that i dont feel it coming tonight. Maybe itll creep up later.
pls no.
I’ve been in bed for 3 days
I’ve been calling crisis hotlines almost every night
and all day in bed screaming
So i basically got my heart torn, shattered and burned into a million tiny pieces in june and since then have been trying basically to survive. I can: barley go to work, eat, move, think, and the only thing i do sucessfully is sleep.
My chest feels heavy. And i cant stop thinking of what went wrong.
I just realized last night….my social anxiety and ocd is stopping me from what I want to do and I want to scream
>.< I feel like im a prisoner, i dont know what to do
slowly getting back into social media after a weird break. been on twitter for a while though
agoraphobia again…
I’ve become extremely recluse and shy again. I tried to be more open on social media and stuff, attempted to make new friends but with no success. I message people but none really reply. I have gotten invited to a few places but I either A.) have no one to go with or B.) get to anxious to drive in LA
It’s like this double edged sword or something, don’t know the right term. I’ve just been focusing on school, work and art. But I would like to “live” a little. I’ve deactivated my fb to focus on school more, twitter i dont really have a huge following there, and I’ve taken instagram out of my phone so i wont be on it so much. This is the only little place i go on from time to time. Sorry if I have been a little distant, though i dont think anyone reads this, but to whoever does…this is what ive been going through.
all the cool kids are all hanging out together and Im here just like
meep.
made another.